Why Did I Fall For YOU? // That’s a Silly Question!

Here I sit, heart-breaking and longing for you to reach out to me. From this side, it seems as if there you sit, free and unaffected

By the love I thought we “shared.”

Yet we do share, and you are affected, even though it may not manifest itself  in ways my ego wants to see.

My heart isn’t breaking, but rather the shell of this cocoon is cracking and making room for the newest transformation of my loving, emotional soul.

This transformation was made possible by allowing myself to be vulnerable to you.

Your transformation- however obvious or subtle to the outside world,

To your inner world,

Is just as beautiful and emotional and intense as my own,

It seems so complicated, but it’s rather simple.

Do you wait for me to make the first move?

Must I always break first?

I fuel the embers of these ridiculous mind games;

Games which are meaningless, pointless and only propelled by our confusing and backwards society.

Why do I strike the match against the lighter fluid-soaked fabric of drama?

Probably because living in acceptance and devoid of ego is really hard,

And hard can be displeasing sometimes.

This time I shall not crumble,

My brass stance holds strong-

Balanced.

Keep balanced.

Yet even though I write these words,

And even though I believe them strongly

It only lasts for a moment

A very fleeting moment.

I tend to be the first to break our silent spells. I can’t seem to help myself, I just enjoy talking with you so much.

Yet words are words, and even these words are silly.

Fighting desire until it makes me crazy. Is that what balance is? Or is balance sending that thought to you in message form, or reaching out to exchange vocal vibrations when I feel pulled to do so?

Pure balance is knowing between Truth in connection and desire for a distraction from my own problems.

I’m still learning,

Always learning.

Still seeking balance,

Always seeking balance; I am a Libra after all!

Yet being a Libra, I am social.

I like to speak, and I like to hear.

I like social exchange with you very much.

Noble-spirited Mayat

The Nile of my veins flowing

Dancing, energizing;

Here I stand.

Yet even if you decide not to share in love with me, or I decide the same

My blood will still flow. It will keep flowing…

…unless I’m dead!

I don’t think that’s quite likely anytime soon, though.

WHY WON’T YOU TALK TO ME?

What a preposterous question.

Even in our silence we speak.

In moments apart, I feel you.

You feel me.

We are still communicating through the Universe.

I find myself assuming we’re not in sync during my times of despair,

Yet you seem to prove me incorrect.

We are in sync.

Continuously.

It hasn’t stopped yet,

And silence doesn’t change that.

So, again I say:

Why did I fall for YOU?

That’s a silly question

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